say what?

hypothetically.....

what happens when the person is not the same person anymore.........

what brought them together is greatly lost....

for better or worse....

I stay, I try, I silently scream.....

maybe it's me? Some days easier than others. No-one to talk to(online friends, thank the universe: you know who you are). I am not cut out for this, That is not an excuse; it is a fact. I am working against myself.

How is it possible to love and hate the same person at the same time?

oh, may the powers that be forgive me but I needed to say that somewhere,and a random notebook didn't do it; it had to be in a place where there was the possibility of someone seeing it, reading it, and therefore allowing myself to be judged.

Always have been, always will be, sod it.

I think I remember a line from a Chrissie Hynde song: "It's a thin line between love and hate". Vacillates.

I know that there are so many more people so much worse off than I am, but right here, right now, I am so........weary.

It's like a constant drip, drip, srip, against stone.....wearing me down; the endless moaning and grumbling and I want to scream SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then ofn course the row after daring to say something like that,and the risk of upsetting him, and and and and and and and and...........

I shall post this before I chicken out and say how thankful(sorry but 'grateful' still sticks in my throat) I am that I have this place to say this.

Tp anyone who read this, thank you.