what do youi think?

say what?

hypothetically.....

what happens when the person is not the same person anymore.........

what brought them together is greatly lost....

for better or worse....

I stay, I try, I silently scream.....

maybe it's me? Some days easier than others. No-one to talk to(online friends, thank the universe: you know who you are). I am not cut out for this, That is not an excuse; it is a fact. I am working against myself.

How is it possible to love and hate the same person at the same time?

oh, may the powers that be forgive me but I needed to say that somewhere,and a random notebook didn't do it; it had to be in a place where there was the possibility of someone seeing it, reading it, and therefore allowing myself to be judged.

Always have been, always will be, sod it.

I think I remember a line from a Chrissie Hynde song: "It's a thin line between love and hate". Vacillates.

I know that there are so many more people so much worse off than I am, but right here, right now, I am so........weary.

It's like a constant drip, drip, srip, against stone.....wearing me down; the endless moaning and grumbling and I want to scream SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And then ofn course the row after daring to say something like that,and the risk of upsetting him, and and and and and and and and...........

I shall post this before I chicken out and say how thankful(sorry but 'grateful' still sticks in my throat) I am that I have this place to say this.

Tp anyone who read this, thank you.

strange stuff

friend of dh died. weird feelings. Very very weird.

that's all you're getting..... ;)

"Harvester Of Hearts"

If a person should ever like a person
Then a person should like you
Being that I'm only just a person
What would you do?
If a person should ever like a person
Then a person should like me
Being that you're only just a person
It must be
Still I find it hard to get an answer
From the harvester of hearts
Always find it hard to get an answer
From the harvester of hearts
If a person should ever like a person
How funny that would be
If a person should ever like me
Not that I have that much to offer
God knows I have so much to gain
From the harvester of hearts
From the harvester of pain
If a person should ever like a person
Then a person should be free
Free to like whomever that they want to
Even though it ain't me
Not that I have much to offer
God knows I have so much to gain
From the harvester of hearts
From the harvester of pain

Amanda Tapping.........

.......is divine.........

Lucy Jordan

The Ballad of Lucy Jordan
Marianne Faithfull/Dr Hook/et al(take your pick)

The morning sun touched lightly on
the eyes of Lucy Jordan
In a white suburban bedroom
in a white suburban town

And she lay there neath the covers
dreaming of a thousand lovers
til the world turned to orange
and the room went spinning round

At the age of 37
she realized she'd never ride
through Paris in a sports car
with the warm wind in her hair
So she let the phone keep ringing
as she sat there softly singing
pretty nursery rhymes she'd memorized
in her Daddy's easy chair

Her husband he's off to work
and the kids are off to school
and there were oh so many ways
for her to spend her days

She could clean the house for hours
or rearrange the flowers
or run naked through the shady street
screaming all the way

At the age of 37
she realized she'd never ride
through Paris in a sports car
with the warm wind in her hair
So she let the phone keep ringing
as she sat there softly singing
pretty nursery rhymes she'd memorized
in her Daddy's easy chair

The evening sun touched gently on
the eyes of Lucy Jordan
on the rooftop where she climbed
when all the laughter grew too loud

And she bowed and curtsied to the man
who reached and offered her his hand
and he led her down to the long white car
that waited past the crowd

At the age of 37
she knew she'd found forever
as she rode along through Paris

song memories

random songs playing and bringing all kinds of thoughts and memories......

Blue Oyster Cult: "Don't Fear the Reaper"
sitting in the union at CP, with M and S and P and J and wee Jimmy behind the bar, and the atmosphere full of smoke and chat and life and freedom

David Bowie: "Absolute Beginners"
first time at the pictures after starting C St; and standing in the wee old kitchen looking right out down across all the back gardens, down to the sea.......

and Bowie's "Heroes"....just a favourite, just because.....